A few years back I met the most interesting couple. They were parents of a boy my daughter dated. And they dated for a couple years so I knew this couple fairly well. I secretly marveled on some of their stances, I guess I could call it, on life itself. Higher life, spiritual life, all sorts of things that I never truly sat and thought about.
Long story short, the dad lent me several books. And since then I’ve read extensively on a large range of subjects. One book was about hermetics and it was all about higher consciousness, the ego, visualization, the astral plane, the principles of fire, air, water and earth (and the positive / negative attributes of them), and how these elements affect the human body. And really, about so much more. It was an extremely hard book to get through for a beginner. I took a lot of notes and had to re-read a lot.
Gosh, anyhow…Well, I’ve changed several things in my life since then, and I won’t get into all of them here. I will mention one…I learned to not let people bother me so much. You know, some people are just mean or nasty or maybe just in general for whatever reason…not so nice. Once I came to the conclusion that I don’t have to be around someone that I don’t want to be around (just because others think I should)…or…that a persons attitude may make them undesirable to be around but it’s the way ‘I respond’ that’s the difference in whether my own stress level goes up or not.
I’ve also learned a lot about ego in the last few years. I’ve learned that in different circles it’s viewed differently for one thing. Freud, for example, teaches ego is in the center (the balance) of the mind. Id and superego are on the sides of ego. Draw a line with ego in the middle, superego on one side of ego, and id on the other. If you’re apathetic to anything involving yourself, that’s ‘complete id’, and complete superego is when you’re apathetic to anything that doesn’t involve yourself. Every person falls somewhere along this line. The closer you are (on the line) to the middle (to the ego), the ‘healthier’ you are. Freud also considered the ego as a sort of ‘holding tank’ for negative thoughts and repressed fears.
And since I’m sorta ‘thinking out loud’ here, let me just say upfront that if anything I’m writing is incorrect, please feel free to let me know. I’m in a constant learning process and appreciate the correction.
So, from what I can gather, when we are looking at this in more of a spiritual way….we are born with a center or an ego. This is a ‘divine’ center. What happens to this, why it ’seems’ to remain dormant, I don’t know. (Actually, it doesn’t remain ‘dormant’, we’re just not consciously able to think about it.) Maybe because there’s another ego we talk about most often and is a product of the mind. When we’re born into this world, we don’t have any of our own belief systems. They are created for us by our parents and those around us. Through the senses a baby becomes aware of his surroundings. For instance, a baby smiles and coos and a mother will show affection, praise the child, love the child and the child becomes aware of what the mother thinks of him. This is how the ego is born. The way this love makes the baby feel becomes his ‘center’ or ‘ego’: his consciousness of his own identity.
The ego is a reflection of what others think of you. It is a bunch of things, experiences, feelings. Ego is thus a byproduct of society. Your parents reflect on you who you are, as do your friends, teachers, grandparents, neighbors, bosses…everyone in society. Society then forms you really. “A by-product of his society.”
For example: A child draws a beautiful picture. The teacher says, “Oh, you are such a good artist! This is awesome!” The teacher is adding to his ego. If the teacher tells the child the picture is poorly drawn or awful, it rattles the ‘center’ (ego) of the child. And next time he will try to draw a better picture.
The ego is always looking for appreciation. For someone to stroke it, ‘feed it’. That’s why we like attention and praise, validation. It makes us feel good, and makes us feel centered. All of the things that have comprised the ego are reflections from what others have deemed you to be. You are conscious of them, you see them, remember them. You think it’s who you really are, but in fact it’s not. It’s really just who you’ve become. None of those things about you are your true you…your soul…or even your heart…they belong to just the mind. I guess that’s part of the way the term ’soul searching’ came to be. Your ego is of the mind and not the heart. Which is why following your heart and your mind are so completely different.
So, this is where I normally get perplexed. And for me it’s perplexing because of the different philosophies, eastern and western. Eastern philosophy (I believe) stresses you need to rid yourself of all this conscious ego and find your true self. While Western (I believe) feels you need this ego…it’s part of who you are. And western philosophy has you exploring your ego, figuring out ‘why’ you act or react in a certain way. (well, I’m sure it’s a lot deeper than that.)
For me, anyhow, I think that by identifying the ‘why’ of (for instance) I would feel the need to be around people that made me miserable, also helped me to let go of that thought and move past it therefore helping me make more healthier choices – healthier for my mind that is. Which, I’m not sure but that could be what they’re talking about in both Eastern and Western Philosophies regarding ego, and fixing it.
I’m guessing that if your true goal is to work on your soul progression, you need to understand that your soul is separate from your mind. It’s sorta, I believe, like you’re living 2 lives here. You’ve got your soul trying to progress in a body you came into to help it to learn to progress. It’s just that when you got your present soul vehicle – your body – it came with a lot of things attached. Like your ego. Things that really aren’t you – as in your soul – but things that have been imposed on you by everyone around you.
So your soul actually has a hard job when it comes into a new body because it’s trying to work on it’s own progression, yet has to deal with this body who has a mind of it’s own (literally!). I suppose the idea is that we have to cut through all the stuff in our present mind…all those reflections of society that makes our ego, and figure out our true center. The one where our soul is.
The question for me is, just how do you do this? There’s so many outside influences on a person. Is it actually possible to find your true center and keep it? I would think that meditation would help greatly, but how on earth could you stay in that frame of mind? It would be like taking one step forward and two steps back, wouldn’t it? Although I wouldn’t presume to think that the goal of soul progression can’t be completed in one lifetime. Probably not in a thousand. So maybe it takes so long because the soul has such a difficult job of cutting through all the crap in our human minds?
Okay, that’s enough thinking out loud for today. lol.
Thank you to Braja for the inspirational post on ego…you gave me that little mental push to think about this again.
I suppose sometimes we get on a path and lose sight. I guess it’s only human. All part of the growth.
Sometimes I can just get lost gazing out the window and watching the wild birds. These creatures are just so beautiful. The deep red feathers of the Cardinals that stay here throughout the winter, the light blue and pale yellow of the Nuthatches and the variations of browns on the Sparrows. A beautiful burst of color against the white snow.
Gone! I’m filled with sunshine and warmth and a positive flow that is beyond belief. So much more time and space is opened up once I ban that negative energy! And when I stop listening to it, those around me will feel that bounce and work toward opening them selves up to forgiveness and non-judgment and in turn they too will be able to welcome in more positive energy for themselves. It’s such a contagiously wonderful thing of beauty!
